Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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