I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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