nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
