hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize