how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
