....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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