you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
