she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize