I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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