He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize