why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
