Porn is love you can see.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
