I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
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Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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