I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
