Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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