forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
