tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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