do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
