my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
