Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
