I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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