If that was your dad, he is hot
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
