I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
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I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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