thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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