HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
