In the future we'll all be gay
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
