This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
