Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize