I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If its not for food we ain't going out.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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