your thong is hanging out like whoa
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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