I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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