RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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