yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
