so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
