Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
