evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
