after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My breasts were aching with rage.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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