Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Randomize