I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
