All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
