well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
