Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
