just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
