so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
