Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
