Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
