Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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