Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
