I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
