just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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