I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
