His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
