Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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