How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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