its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
