i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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