You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
