so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
