So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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