just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
