yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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