Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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