look no pants
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize