So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
