don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
